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Prompts
How do you hate your own family, better yet how do you hate your own parent. It was as simple as parent teacher days. You see parent teacher days are the times of the year the school has the opportunity, to speak to your parents about the progress of their child. That wasn't the issue, the issue was really the feeling of jealousy as a nine year old kid, seeing other kids with their dads. That was the trigger not having a dad around to see through milestones as experienced by those around me. A lot happened in the year 1986, there was the Chernobyl nuclear explosion, Halley's comet appeared in the sky which happens once every 75 years. Oprah Winfrey debuted on television and the space shuttle Challenger disintegrates during its launch killing all seven astronauts. It was also the same year we returned from Australia to New Zealand as a result of my parents separation and eventual divorce years later. The anger and resentment started off small like parent teacher evenings, and grew when I hit my early teens where it blew out to just anger and hate towards my dad. This manifested through antisocial and self destructive behavior getting kicked out of my first high school in grade 9, for stealing and the burning down of the school staff room with a sibling. Sitting in a room surrounded by the school board members who determined my fate and it was unanimous, expulsion. This also included 130 hours of community service. From there I attended four more high schools throughout my adolescence with little change in behavior. The last straw was stealing a car, breaking into a supermarket and stealing food and goods. It came to an abrupt halt when during the time of the break in, my friend and I were confronted by a friendly police german shepherd. Let me set the scene for you, imagine if you will two teenagers at 3am in the morning ransacking your local supermarket when in an instance a police car parks in front of your exit point (broken shopfront panel). Police officer proceeds to let their trusted police dog loose into the store to ascertain the situation, and possible perpetrators. Meanwhile, the two teenagers in the store hear the sound of dog barks and with ingenious precision, find shelter in the delicatessens cold room. This the teens assume have hidden any body temperature heat that could alert the canine to their position. You may be asking yourself whether the science behind this idea works, the simple answer 'hell to the no.' Dog enters the room in the cover of darkness once, then goes out, comes in again then goes out. When they say three times a charm this is correct. On the third occasion the police officer turns on light as canine enters, this is what rugby then calls a 'maul'. Yes I was blessed to be first to be mauled by Cujo like the equivalent of a lion tearing apart a hyeena. Needless to say, two weeks later I was on a plane to Australia to live with my dad. A year later I ran away from home from Sydney to Brisbane on a one way bus trip. Hate has a way of fueling motivation that blinds all rational thinking and I had plenty in the tank. Moving in with my Uncle revolutionized my heart and thinking. He became my first real male role model who loved me and took me into his heart and home. He would introduce me as his son and didn't matter how much shame I brought him, he kept loving me like his own son. On a weekend retreat I was challenged about the hate I harbored towards my dad. The inner voice spoke to me, 'if you don't forgive your dad you will never be able move on with your life.' In that moment I let it go, all the hurt, resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, towards my dad came flooding down through tears as if a Dam had burst open. I cried for what felt like an eternity and left it all on the floor to dry up and evaporate. After that day I wrote my parents a letter and apologised for how I felt towards them both. Since that time I have the good fortune to work with hundreds if not thousands of people over my lifetime. If I can pass on any learning's it would be one word, forgive. Forgive and let things go. Don't hold onto things against people you can justify in your heart. I'm not saying don't have boundaries, what I'm saying is learn the art of simply letting it go. It truly is liberating.
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We have started a connect group at our house on a Monday fortnightly in Ipswich from 6pm til 8pm. What is a connect group? Great question, connect is where likeminded people come together to build friendship in a safe, caring environment where we laugh together and support each other on life’s often difficult paths.⠀ Clara and I speak to a lot of people and one thing that comes up time and again is the issue of loneliness. We’ve had many people feel isolated, lonely as a couple or family due to factors such as moving from interstate for work purposes, have no family in the area, or disconnected from loved ones.⠀ We don’t judge people’s situation, however what we do well is offer love, acceptance and forgiveness. We love our community and would love to open our home and our hearts and invite you to join us together on this journey.⠀ If this is something that interests you please DM (direct message ) us and we can send you more details.⠀ Big love from our family to yours, ⠀ Dave and Clara ⠀ 📷: @thebushcollective
We have finally decided to take the plunge and add a blog to our site. We wanted an easy way to share, inspire and inform visitors and we are super excited to start this journey with you. If you love the content, let us know and keep coming back to our site to check for updates right here on the blog. If you don't know then let us introduce ourselves again. We are Dave and Clara, husband and wife, Owner/Operators of His + Her Salon/Barber in the worlds most beautiful city, Ipswich Queensland.
His + Her • Jun 29, 2019
It started at a crossroad.
Summer heat in Brisbane can be scorching, burning on the back of your neck, especially while you're standing still. At a corner of an intersection on a busy afternoon in the CBD, there I stood waiting for the sign to show that I could cross the road. Surrounded by a sea of people going in different directions we were all waiting for the sign. The sign came on, the sound along with it indicating it was safe to cross. As I was walking across the road towards Central Station I noticed in the corner of my eye a homeless man lying prostrate on a bench a few meters from the intersection. In that moment I was prompted, the inner voice saying 'go over and offer him something to eat.' Awkwardly, I diverted my direction towards the man sheepishly embarrassed that I would make a fool of myself. I proceeded to sit next to him while diverting my eyes from the gaze of others walking by. You see in that moment, I actually felt shame as if sitting beside him made me less important on the social hierarchy of influence.
I waited for a moment then gently tapped him on his waist coat and asked him 'would you like something to eat?' Slowly he rose, eyes squinting by the brightness of the sun he said 'yes.' After memorizing what he wanted I left, grabbed his order and came back to sit with him as he ate his food. I have always had a curious nature and love to ask people questions, not from a place of insincerity but primarily because I love learning through people. I asked him about his story. He spoke about the love of his life and that years ago he was a business man. He spoke about how his wife became ill and passed away. He said how she was the reason for his 'why' and that when she passed he had no reason to go on so, he gave up, losing his business and everything he had worked for.
This story was a turning point because I recognized the value of listening to your gut, the prompt, the inner voice. Ever since that moment the prompts have become part of who we are as business owners and human beings. For many years since that time I have been prompted to message someone, call this person, give this person something, pay for their fuel. I have woken up and felt prompted to go the shopping center near where I lived. Weirdly, I listened and went, when coming down the escalator I recognized a man I had worked with. Speaking to him he said he wasn't in a good place, some based on life choices and relationship issues. After our conversation I called an older mentor who then followed up with the man relating to what was happening for him.
That leads me to this morning, waking up, prompted 'go to the gym.' I had already been six days straight which is one more than I normally do. I'm there on the treadmill focused on a 30 minute session when I noticed a lady I've seen numerous times at the gym working out on her own. She looks determined, focused, getting her reps in, changing weights, more reps, embracing the grind. At the duration of my session you guessed it, here comes the prompt, 'tell her what a great job she's doing, tell her you admire her dedication.' I walk down the stairs and go up to her and say, "I see you hear alot, I admire your dedication, great job!" Prompts are as simple as leaning in, letting go of being self conscious, and being obedient.
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees
the opportunity in every difficulty.”
– Winston Churchill